Christmas

I said previously that I would blog about a few of my favourite things , and as it is December it only seems right to write about something that I really love.

Anyone who has had even a tiny bit of interaction with me will know that I love Christmas , but to be honest it's not the actual day that I love , but the build up throughout December.

Starting from 1st December when traditionally the decorations go up at our house ( although this year I was a couple of days early , oops ) . The theory with us is that Christmas costs quite a bit , as do some decorations , so why not enjoy them for as long as we can ?

Then the gift buying , although again , some of this is actually done before December to beat the online rush !! I like to choose thoughtful presents , not always what is on someones list , but maybe something that they have mentioned in passing that they like and I have remembered .

I also love wrapping up .Paper and wrapping doesn't have to cost loads to be pretty , some years I actually went down the 'potato printing' route , on brown paper and tied up with string. This year I had 2 rolls of paper left over from last year , Nordic red & white style , tied with red & white butchers string , way cheaper than 'Christmas' bows or ribbon but pretty and unusual.

Christmas food is another great thing. I only tend to eat mince pies on Christmas day & boxing day and the same with pudding ( this year it is Mums homemade one !!). I find if I've eaten mince pies from when they first appear in the shops (Easter) then I am fed up with them by the actual day !!

A family tradition is to have an Indian takeaway on Christmas Eve with a glass of rich mulled wine , made with aromatic spices and a dash of brandy. This first started when Mum used to get in from work tired and didn't fancy cooking and we've kept the tradition since then.

Then comes the turkey , a huge bird , as big as we can fit in the oven . stuffed with stuffing and tons of sausage meat put in the oven at about midnight and cooked on the lowest heat possible all through the night. We wake up to the most amazing smell in the morning and a huge part of Christmas for our family. One year Mum tried cooking it when we got up and it wasn't cooked when we were ready to eat & we all missed the smell .

We open our stocking gifts before breakfast , in our pjs before croissants and bucks fizz  and then a chilled out day with dinner at about 3pm and some more presents through the day as the mood takes us !!

But as I say I do love the build up , the organising , the whole atmosphere , maybe because I am quite bossy. I almost feel a bit lost when I haven't got as much to do !!  


I do understand that for some people it isn't the easiest time of the year , they are missing loved ones or under stresses but whatever you are doing this Christmas I hope that it is a happy and healthy one xxx

Can I Ask You A Question ?

So this blog originally was going to be about a totally different subject but as I go on you will see why.

A few months ago I set up a survey at Survey Monkey entitles 'Why did you follow?' It was only 5 questions long , with options for males and females singularly.

Basically I wanted to find out why people choose to follow other people on Twitter, does a pretty / sexy avi draw in people  , is it subjects that you have in common  or is it that other people that you know follow them and you are interested too?

Simple you might think , nothing scary and no personal information like my last survey on attitudes to porn in 2013 which got 50 responses!!

So how many responses did I get you are asking ?

13 !! Yes only 13 !! 6 male and 7 female so not exactly a broad cross section of the public and certainly not enough to get a proper response , so a change of blog topic needed I think !!

What is it about surveys that puts people off filling them in ?

I must admit I do not like survey people in the street or on the telephone. Mainly because if I am walking down the high street I usually have somewhere I need to be and haven't got the time to stand in the cold and answer random questions to a stranger. also the telephone ones usually call when you are cooking or doing something useful and who actually knows who is at the other end of the line ?!

But the occasional online survey doesn't bother me. If I can help someone or improve a service to other people just by giving 5 minutes of my time in between Tweeting or playing Candy Crush ;0) then why not.

Obviously if the survey turns into page after page after page or stuff that I really don't need / want to tell anyone then I just click the close button , no harm done.

I really wonder how the television show 'Pointless' manages to get 100 people randomly to answer there questions for the show. Apparently the people who answer them don't know they are for the show but 100 people per question is good going !!
 
 And just in case you were wondering ( I know you were) a sexy avi pic will only get you dm pictures of penises not nice Twitter followers. Generally someone sees some of your tweets and thinks you are interesting , they know you in 'real' life or you follow mutual people , simple as that . But then that IS just the response from 13 people :0) xxx

The S word

It's nearly that time of year again , no not,(whispers for the delicate amongst us) Christmas but that thing that goes along with it for the majority of us.

Shopping

Yes , the mere word is enough to send shivers down the spine of some menfolk that I know , but let me tell you , it's not only men that have an aversion to it.

I used to like it , but then somewhere along the way I decided that I didn't . The shops that switch their heating to full volume on 1st October regardless of what the actual weather is like , so that wearing coats , as is normal outside , becomes a pain as you have to strip off the minute you enter a shop.

That I guess is one reason that I prefer enclosed shopping centres , where you can go shopping wearing a t-shirt in December and not feel the slightest bit cold. However I still don't like the whole shopping thing.

I was persuaded to go to Westfield shopping centre in East London last year with my Brother but it took him paying my train fare and buying me lunch in Nandos to persuade me .As it happens I did actually enjoy that shopping trip but I wouldn't want to repeat it too often.

I honestly don't understand those people who head for the shopping centre every weekend , just to have a look around . If I have to go shopping I like to have a clear idea of what I want to buy so that I don't have to waste time wandering around aimlessly with the other zombies.

And that is where the internet is my saviour. I can sit at the pc in my pyjamas or onsie , with a cup of tea at 1am if I want to and I have millions of shops at my finger tips. Shops that are nowhere to be seen on my local high street and that sell much more interesting gifts . Also I can save the page and come back later without having to walk the entire length of the shopping centre / high street , something my feet thank me for.

And then there is no carrying bags and bags of things home on the train or trips back to the car to stash stuff in the boot . The postman delivers my purchases straight to the door and often if you are canny with a discount code , you don't even have to pay for the pleasure.


Obviously the only thing that I can't change is the fact that this shopping lark costs money and sadly there is no way I can change that xxx

Foot In Mouth Disease

Have you ever been out somewhere with an older person and they make a comment about someone nearby in what they think is a whisper?

Yes we know it's not a whisper but of course the level of deafness suffered by the older person is directly related to how loud they actually are.

My Gramps used to do this much to the embarrassment of family members but quite frankly he didn't care , he fought in a war and therefore felt he could say exactly what he wanted.

Well I think I'm starting to be affected by this but in a slightly different way.

I have lost count of the amount of times I have had to apologise recently for things I have said that were taken in a way that I didn't mean them to be. I DO think about what I say (or type) before I say it but I forget that not everyone takes things in the same way that I do . A phrase that means something to me sometimes hasn't even been heard of by someone in a different country or even a different county.

It is increasingly easy to offend or upset someone totally inadvertently and maybe the increased use of the internet and social media is helping this to happen.
In my Grandparents day people didn't travel as widely either so the chances of using a phrase particular to your area on a person from another place was rare.

I like to be natural when speaking to people or chatting on Twitter or Facebook , I would feel stifled if I had to think about what I wanted to say and then re-think before I typed , just in case , so if I ever insult you or annoy you with something I say , just let me know and I'll add you to my list of people to apologise to xxx

PLEASE help

This isn't my usual type of blog post , this is a plea , for you to help. Not to help me but to give your signature to help the stray dogs of Romania that are being rounded up and killed in extremely inhumane ways.

This article from occupyforanimals.org says everything you need to know :

Romania : A country cries out for revenge after the tragic death of a four year old boy, who has apparently been attacked by dogs

 

September 4th 2013 - today marks the beginning of a very dark time for Romanias' homeless animals. Following the tragic death of little Ionut , a four year old boy who was killed by dogs after he entered a private , fenced land, Romanian President Traian Basescu , urged the Government to elaborate and emergency ordinance that ALL dogs be killed.

 

Since the tragic accident, all Romanian televisions and newspapers are continuously talking about this tragedy. They do shows, tell stories, interview people who feel disturbed by dogs, they show false statistics, they distort the reality, and they inflame the entire population.

But too little is being mentioned that little Ionut was left too long unsupervised by his grand mother; they he and his 6 year-old brother had left the park; wandered very far away; and entered a private, fenced property where dogs were. And this last statement bears repeating "dogs". Of course, it was quickly said that it was 'stray dogs', but these dogs could as well have been 'guard dogs', perhaps even deliberately encouraged to be aggressive. Since no-one is compelled to identify and to register his/her dogs (only the pure breeds are being registered, but ONLY with the Romanian Kennel Club) nobody can be taken accountable even if someone is being attacked or killed on private ground. 

We do not know for sure... the dogs can have been guard dogs, and they can as well have been strays. But little Ionut's tragic death is sad beyond words, in any case.... and our hearts and thoughts go out to the family of the little boy.

But we know that the strays always take the blame because it is convenient for the politicians and it fuels the anti-stray propaganda machine... Because under the pretext of the “stray’s terror” generous budgets are being allocated and their biggest weapon is the manipulation of the population through mass-media.

A few years ago there was the case of a woman attacked by dogs in a private yard, because she entered the premises at night, without any authorisation, which had been presented to the public as a woman killed by strays. The same type of story happened again when a drunk woman was attacked by dogs who had owners, and they also blamed the strays for her death. There were other such cases...

The case of the 4 year old child killed by dogs is more than blurry and strange. There are things in the official version that just don't add up and many people have started to ask questions and wonder. Even Romanian MEP Corneliu Vadim Tudor had publicly expressed doubts on the official version of the boy's death. We have compiled the inconsistencies which have emerged days after the death of the little boy and a video can be seen at :

 

http://www.occupyforanimals.org/romania--a-country-cries-out-for-revenge-after-the-tragic-death-of-a-four-year-old-boy-who-had-been-attacked-by-dogs.html

 

(viewer discretion advised , several pictures WILL cause upset and distress the animal lovers)

 

Don't blame the dogs blame your corrupt politicians!

In 2001, Traian Băsescu, the then-mayor of Bucharest launched a campaign that led to the extermination of about 144,000 stray dogs in the capital alone, spending almost 9,000,000 Euros (62 Euros per dog) during the period from 2001-2007. The dog catchers in Brasov spent about 2 million EURO in 8 years. Between 2008-2010, 20,000 dogs have been killed in Constanta spending 1,500,000 Euros (75 Euros per dog). Overall it is estimated that Romania spent between 25 and 40 million EURO on strays from 2001 until 2008.

Between 2001 and 2011 the Romanian animal control people have killed hundreds of thousands dogs by spending tens of millions of Euros in public funds, while the number of stray dogs only grew larger because the authorities quickly came to realise that the mere existence of the strays is a very profitable business!

 

Fact is: the campaign started by Basescu, the then-mayor of Bucharest, led to the extermination of more than 144.000 stray dogs in the capital alone, spending almost 9 million euros on taxpayer's money between 2011 and 2008 with the result that the streets of Bucharest are again littered with dead and life animals. 

Although the problem of the aggressive dogs is supposedly the number one priority, the animal control folks rarely catch aggressive dogs. Instead they almost always take puppies and little, friendly dogs that are easy and safe to catch. This approach has the double benefit of keeping the dangerous dogs on the streets in order to perpetuate the “terror of the strays” while making the dog catchers appear as heroes and saviours in the eyes of the people.

Some dog catchers catch everything they can get their hands on, including dogs with owners or protectors and dogs that are sterilised and returned to their territory according to HG 955/2004. There were cases where dogs were taken while walking next to their owners or where the dog catchers went into people’s yards and took their dogs. A lot of the owners tried to negotiate a return fee smaller than the official one and eventually, especially in Bucharest, a “protection fee” paid to the dog catchers became the norm.

 

Several mayors with business “abilities” transformed the local animal control departments into businesses that made money by catching and killing dogs from small towns that didn’t have their own shelters or by catching the dogs in a town without shelter and “hosting” the dogs in a different city, tens of km away. The corrupt mayors became so addicted to these profits that they imposed quotas on their dog catchers: the Brasov dog catchers hunted in 4-5 counties, bringing over 120,000 lei to Brasov’s budget. Most of the dogs were exterminated in the Stupini shelter and a small number were handed over to other cities that had shelters.

The whole operation was made profitable at the price of torturing the animals and breaking the Romanian animal protection laws. After loading up the dogs and before heading for Brasov, the Brasov dog catchers would be paid per number of dogs for capture, transportation, sheltering and euthanasia.
Since they were already paid and everyone saw them leaving with the dogs, nothing (certainly not their conscience) stopped the dog catchers from releasing most of the dogs on their way back to Brasov, to make sure that the problem continues and they are called back to “help”. Any animal lover would be happy to hear that, if they didn’t know that the dogs would be caught again and again, sometimes injured in the process, and would most likely continue to multiply.

The chief dog-catcher, Flavius Barbulescu, even got to buy his own jeep, a Mitubischi L200, for about 30,000 EURO, under the pretext of helping large animals, such as cows, pigs, bears, rhinoceros or giraffes that might have wondered into the public roundabouts build by mayor Scripcaru. Rumour has it that the jeep is used in certain weekends by two local authorities in their hunting trips.

Thankfully, some Romanian media are becoming increasingly critical

In an excellent report by STIRILE PRO TV,  the enormous amounts of public money that are being spent on the supposed management of the stray animals are being questioned! The article states that, according to official data, the authority who's in charge of the management of stray animals claimed the city's total budget of 14.5 million lei - that is almost 3.3 million Euros!

And that interventions only come with great delay, despite desperate requests of citizens.

"At the moment we have an average response time between 30 and 40 days. I mean the "action on the field". But to be effective you need to get somewhere in less than 2 weeks," says Razvan Bancescu, coordinator of ASPA.

So if you have an aggressive dog erring around your property and your playing children, you can be assured that the ASPA will "help" you in 30 to 40 days from now...

BUT what people do not know: they don't come so late because they are so busy, or because they do not have enough staff, they come intentionally so late to make you believe so! ...And to have even more budgets being allocated!

The killings have already started

The first dogs that will have to pay are the ones that are already incarcerated in the public shelters - those who are vaccinated, sterilised and that constitute no danger to the public...

The mayoress of Craiova, Lia Olguta Aliescu, who hates dogs and who is well known for allowing horrible suffering to go on in the local public shelter over which she has the responsibility, did not waste any time and was the first Romanian mayor to announce that she had ordered the killing of all dogs in their local shelter. The killing of the more or less 500 unfortunate souls have started today, September 4, 2013. The next unfortunate souls will probably be the dogs at the public shelter in Râmnicu Vâlcea.
Next week, it's the turn of the dogs in Bucharest's public shelters. Followed by those on the streets. Razvan BANCESCU, head of the Authority for Supervision and Protection of Animals (ASPA) said that a lot more dogs will be taken from the streets, the aggressive ones - or better said: deemed aggressive - will be killed immediately and the others will be thrown in one of their shelters. The number of shelters in the capital will be increased from actually 8, to 50. And given that one shelter has only a capacity of more or less 160 dogs, and considering that there are around 60.000 stray dogs in the capital alone, those for whom there will be no place, will also be killed. Those who will not be killed immediately, will be killed if not adopted within a few days. In fact, ALL will the killed, some sooner, others a bit later.

The fate of the 13,000 homeless dogs of Timisoara is also already determined: mayor Nicolae Robu did not waste any time to sentence them all to death!

For the unfortunate animals who have the misfortune to enter such a public shelter, or publicly financed animal shelter, of which most are nothing less than illegal extermination camps run by untrained, poorly educated, underpaid and cruel shelter workers, and where they are being left to starve or to freeze to death, where they die of the consequences of diseases and injuries (often inflicted during the catching) and left without veterinary care, death will come as a welcome relief... because there are many things worse than death. But sadly, very sadly, death won't come swiftly. And it won't be fear nor painless...

Although the euthanasia of healthy animals had been deemed "unconstitutional" by the Romanian Constitutional Court, it seems to be 'okay' now... And there goes our trust in the Romanian Constitution, and in the authority and credibility of Romania's Courts and their Judges!

In addition to the mass killings happening right now in public shelters, the angry, murderous populace has got a free ticket to kill and dogs and cats are being bludgeoned, shot and poisoned in villages and towns all over Romania. Pregnant bitches, little puppies and socialised gentle dogs, none are being spared!

While crying out for revenge over the tragic death of little Ionut, they kill dogs and cats right in front of the children that they claim they are wanting to protect, not knowing that the uncontrolled exposure of children to uncontrolled animal abuse has serious ramifications on the psychological health of these children resulting in a serious psychological disturbance.

Killing is NO solution!

The killings that have already started and which will continue throughout Romania and which will end the lives of hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions of innocent creatures in the most gruesome ways, WILL NOT solve the problem for the following reasons:

Technically and logistically speaking, it is simply impossible for the dog catching services to capture all the stray dogs.

Owned dogs who are not sterilised also contribute to the stray animal population but they won't be killed. Most owned dogs in Romania are not sterilised and allowed to roam freely and to mate as they wish. They will continue to reproduce litter after litter which will then simply be abandoned by their owners and so the sad cycle will continue year in, year out, with new puppies replacing the dying or killed adult population. Just one unaltered female dog and her offspring can produce 67,000 puppies in only six years. In seven years, one female cat and her offspring can produce an incredible 370,000 kittens. Male animals contribute to the companion animal overpopulation crisis even more than females do. Just one un-sterilised male animal can impregnate dozens of females, creating dozens upon dozens of unwanted offspring.

If the Romanian government was interested in solving the stray animals issue, they would have started mass sterilisation campaigns long time ago. But fact is that the stray animals business is a profitable dirty industry in which many people profit from: the collecting of dogs --- the construction of unnecessary shelters (including research and design) --- the housing of animals, including supposedly feeding and caring of the animals --- the incineration of the deceased animals. Solving the stray animals issue would leave all those who make big money from the "stray business" (including mayors and other politicians who receive bribes) without their huge profits!!!

Mark our words: in a few years from now Romania's streets will be littered again with life and dead dogs. All those who have already died, and those who will die, will have died for nothing!

Catch-Neuter-Return is the only proven humane and effective method to reduce stray animal populations. Statistical studies indicate that in order to fully control a stray population, you need to achieve a 70 percent sterilisation rate of the animals within a particular community. Once you reach the 70 percent threshold, the probability that an unsterilised female comes into contact with an unsterilised male is sufficiently small, and the population stops growing.

Killing stray animals, however, does not stop the problem and only offers a temporary “solution”. The World Health Organization’s “Guidelines for Dog Population Management” (Geneva 1990) and various other academic studies show that killing dogs is ineffective. Despite mass extermination campaigns by misguided municipalities the street dog population grows, and the best examples of both good and bad stray animal population control policies come from your own country:

In 2001 the then-mayor of Bucharest launched a campaign that led to the extermination of about 144,000 stray dogs in the capital alone, spending almost 9,000,000 Euros (62 Euros per dog) during the period from 2001-2007. Between 2008-2010, 20,000 dogs have been killed in Constanta spending 1,500,000 Euros (75 Euros per dog). As you know, both the city of Bucharest and Constanta are again littered with live and dead dogs.

The only town in Romania that used catch/neuter/release programs was Oradea, and the results are showing: in 6 years the population of strays decreased 8 times. "

 

 

So in clarification (if you don't want to read the whole article) a young boy was attacked on private grounds by a dog who may or may not have been a stray and as a result of this the Romanian Government have decided to kill every stray (and in some cases owned) dog that they can.

The dog catchers are rounding up dogs that are easy to catch ,therefore not necessarily aggressive dogs and they are not killing these dogs in a humane way , many are beaten to death or poisoned .

 

No dog , aggressive or otherwise deserves to die like this . Please could you help by signing this petition against the cruelty.

 

http://www.change.org/petitions/romanian-government-stop-mass-killing-dogs-adopt-mass-sterilization

 

I personally know of 3 gorgeous dogs who were rescued by The K9 angels who can be found at  http://k-9angels.org/ .

 

These dogs have proved to be gentle , loving and beautiful dogs but many , many dogs exactly the same will never have the chance to live a happy life with new families in the UK.

 

And yes , you may argue that there are plenty of dogs in this country that need rescuing , but luckily the majority of dogs in shelters in the UK are not euthanized unless there is a specific reason for it xxx

 

 

 

Cara , Spot & Jewel , rescued by the K9 Angels and enjoying loving homes in the UK

 

 

Back To School

So children all over the UK go back to school this week, some into new schools , some into different classes.

My own Nephew starts school tomorrow for the very first time. At nearly 5 years old , he goes in for just mornings for a few weeks , but I suspect that when he realises that he has to go everyday the excitement will soon wear off. There he will go for the next 13 years , give or take a few holidays.

When I was at school ( I left in 1990 ) we only had to stay on until we were 16 but nowadays 18 years old is the leaving age.
Not many people in my school year went on to 6th form college and even fewer went onto university but that seems to be the standard route these days.

Almost like a rite of passage, you go onto university in the same way as you go to a festival or the girls holiday to Magaluf , it's just 'the done thing'.

I can't really blame kids these days for not wanting to enter the world of work straight away. It's hard enough for someone with further qualifications to find a decent job never mind an 18 year old fresh out of school.

My Dad went to Grammar school and was ( and still is ) considered quite intelligent, but even he didn't go to university.
As the eldest son in a farming family in the 1950s not only was the cost prohibitive but you only went to university if you wanted to be a lawyer , doctor , vet or other similar role in life.

These days kids go wanting to study less serious subjects and some of the stranger courses that can be studied in the UK are Golf Studies (Buckinghamshire New University) , Surfing (Plymouth) , Puppetry (University of London) and one bound to be popular , Wine Studies (Brighton) .

It does make me wonder if university IS just a way of passing a few years , getting to learn how to live away from home and making friends from different areas. I guess it does teach life skills and independence but it is an expensive way of doing it !!

Maybe by the time my Nephew has finished school the trend for attending university will have passed and apprenticeships or 'on the job' training will be more popular , who knows , or maybe he will spend his summers going to festivals in Magaluf before going back to his wine studies xxx

Ask a silly question ?

So social media site Ask.fm has been in the news recently following the death of 14 year old Hannah Smith after she was bullied on the site. This has led to people calling for the site to be shut down or at least for there to me more control to report abusive behaviour.

I have every sympathy for Hannah's family, to know that she had been tormented by anonymous bullies to the point where she killed herself must of course be horrible for them.

I myself have been on Ask.fm for about 6 to 9 months. It seemed to me an innocent way to ask people questions and as a basically nosey person I enjoyed it. I never asked anything too intimate and never insulted anyone.

Usually questions come in fits and starts , you can go for weeks without a single question apart from the daily automatic question and then loads at once, and yesterday was one of those busy days.

I was asked several questions about sneezing , which to be honest confused me . Why would any sane human being be so interested in my sneezing habits ?? I began to suspect that ' sneezing' was a euphemism for something else but I still don't know.

Then came the usual stupid questions , some sexual in nature and one saying I was like a granny because it was 39 !!

I replied in what I thought was a manner befitting such questions , yes maybe slightly sarcastically as that is my sense of humour.

Then this morning I had a question accusing me of being a prude and one saying I was far too old for the site , Then one saying that I was cutting and sarcastic and only answered questions in a comical way or cut them short if I didn't like them !

Also today I was accused of being a 'prying parent' despite the fact that I have no children.

I feel that if a question is rude or insulting I have the right to answer it in any way I want. I am not rude in my answer , and feel that I am fair but I'm not going to sit back and let anyone ask insulting or rude things to me without having my chance to reply.

I have only had to block 2 people on the site over the whole time I have been on there but I can see how younger , more insecure people could take every comment or question to heart. I know when I was younger I really would have ,  but these days I figure that I am highly unlikely ever to meet any of the people asking me questions , especially as they are usually anonymous and they are really not worth worrying over.

As for I supposedly being a site for teens and younger people I feel that if anything the opposite should be true  but as with everything on the internet , enforcing age limits would be nearly impossible.

If you are on Ask.fm and you are tempted to ask an insulting or rude question , just stop for a minute and think if you would like your Sister , Mum , Gran or anyone else that you love to read the question and maybe you will see it through the recipients eyes.xxx

   

             

Congratulations

So Great Britain and indeed the rest of the world is currently gripped in royal baby fever.

I wish the new family every congratulations ( I think they read this blog , why wouldn't they ? )but I feel that the media frenzy needs to calm down a bit now.

I have never had a baby but I'm told on good authority that it is a little bit tiring and it hurts so I imagine that the last thing most new mothers would want is the worlds media taking their photograph.

Yes , this comes with the territory when you are a member of the royal family but it would be nice if people could remember that William and Kate are also first time parents who would like to spend a little bit of private time getting to know their new Son and adjusting to their new roles as Mummy and Daddy.

Another thing that annoys me is the marketing opportunists linking the new baby to every product from toilet roll to Pizza dough balls !! Within minutes of the announcement yesterday I had emails urging me to 'Celebrate The Royal Birth' with all sorts of products !! I'm sorry but a royal baby is not going to make me need a new Hotpoint washing machine  xxx

Big Brother ? Not bothered

I've watched Big Brother for years , I've watched all of the 'civilian' ones and only missed one 'celebrity' edition but has it had its day?

Many people said that Channel 5 should never have resurrected it but I don't agree. I thoroughly enjoyed last years series and thought it was up there with some of the best.

Obviously the show has changed significantly from series one, I remember Craig , Caggy etc not actually knowing if anyone would actually be watching this 'social experiment' but the over the years the participants have all got agents and managers before they enter the house , some have previous experience with the media and many have an agenda to be the next big thing when they exit the house.

It has become a platform , much like The X Factor or Britain's Got Talent to launch careers and I'm not sure this is a great thing. The ladies know they will get a Zoo or Nuts feature on their departure and the guys might get noticed for their talent , be it music , sport or just being good looking !!

This year I had favourites on the first couple of nights . I liked Dan , the policeman , also Woolfy , Jack 'n' Joe , Sam  and Michael ( who turned out to be an actor ). I took an instant dislike to Dexter , Gina , Sallie and the Mother & daughter duo , Jackie and Charlie.

Now that it has been running for a while I still like Dan but also find Gina funny in a 'Nicky Graham' kind of way , I can't figure out Callum and I feel Sam is too quiet to win. The twins have turned into whingers , Michael has gone and Woolfy , an early favourite, turned out to be nothing like I first thought. I still find Dexter a bit creepy and still stick by my original feelings towards Jackie & Charlie.

So who do I want to win this year ??

Errrmm , good question , and one that I don't really have an answer to . I don't have strong enough feelings towards any of this years housemates and quite frankly I don't actually care at this point who wins .

Obviously this may change due to plot twists and turns but it's not looking likely. I have even missed several episodes this year , something that would never have happened in previous series .

Maybe it is the end of the road for Big brother but I suspect that while the phone lines still keep raking in the money they will flog it to the death xxx

Snow !!!

So as promised in an earlier blog , another one of my favourite things ..........snow !!

Yes I know that the UK has had the hottest day in ages today but that only makes me want a walk in the cool crisp whiteness even more.

I am a person who likes cold temperatures , I love getting bundled up in coat , boots , scarf & gloves ! No hat though , not keen on hats !! And then coming home and putting on a onsie , socks and slipper boots before curling up in front of the fire with an extra blanket just in case .

Friends who live 'ooop north' think I am slightly ( okay , very) insane to like snow as they have to 'endure' it for weeks on end , but for someone living in Essex snow is great.

When I was growing up we had it occasionally , enough to make memories of snowman building with my older Brothers  and getting snowballs thrown at me until I ran in crying to my Mum but now I enjoy it more.

The anticipation of it , the smell in the air when it's coming ( yes there is a specific smell to snow) , then when it falls , the quiet everywhere.

The world seems to have been wrapped up in a blanket and everything is peaceful. I've gone out for walks very late at night before in the snow and you can almost believe that nobody else in the world exists. Some people might find that eerie but I think it is wonderful.

Last year I did build a snowman . He stood proudly in the front garden and I called him Dave. Dave wore a black fleece scarf and matching hat and watched over the street. Yes I did get a few funny looks when I was making him , but lets be honest , wouldn't the world be a lot better place if people stopped being stuffy and serious , listened to their younger self and got out and built a snowman ? I think so , and if we are lucky enough to get snow this winter I will make another snowman and I hope everyone else does too xxx

No means NO

The last couple of days there have been a few comments on my Twitter feed about women claiming that they like the idea of a 'rape fantasy'

For one of my friends this has hit home quite hard as she has in fact been raped for real and she could tell you it certainly is no fantasy , a total nightmare from hell actually and something that has changed her life forever.

I think the phrase 'rape fantasy' is the wrong choice of words. While several women ,(thanks I feel to 50 shades) have the fantasy of being tied up , whipped , controlled and maybe indulge in a bit of breath play there is a world of difference between 'subs and doms' and rape.

Rape is non consensual , the victim does not have a choice , there are no 'safe words' and sometimes weapons are used .It is purely motivated by fear and violence and not both parties are enjoying it.

Usually when indulging in sub and dom activity there has been a bit of discussion beforehand . Things that are acceptable and things that definitely are not. You would do this (usually) with someone that you trust and have an existing relationship with . It's not something , I feel , that you would do on a one night stand or in the early stages of a relationship.

I'm sure that the women who are claiming to like the idea of a 'rape fantasy' in fact would like no such thing in real life and I really hope that they never get the chance to find out . xxx


If you have been affected by rape or abuse please contact   www.rapeandabuseline.co.uk/  where they help both women and men.

Fact , tact or lie ?

Nobody likes being lied to do they ? It's sly and sneaky and the liar must be a horrible person right ?

Err no , not always .

Don't get me wrong , truth is a good thing and on the whole I don't like to lie , it isn't nice but occasionally there are times when it is better to bend the truth a little bit

Scenario one:

Wife: "Does this dress look okay on me , do I look fat honey ?"

Should the loving Husband answer
A: "Well Darling it does look a bit tight around the bum , perhaps you shouldn't have eaten that slice of cake yesterday or next time buy a larger size ."

Or B: " You look gorgeous as usual Darling , now lets go , our taxi is here"


Scenario two

A small child has just finished 7th in a school sports day race out of 9 kids.

Child : "Mummy , did you see me , was I okay ? "

Does Mummy say
A: " Lets be honest , you were poor ,weren't you , it's a good job that your Dad isn't here , he would be so ashamed of that performance"

Or B: " Darling , well done , did you enjoy yourself? "


Scenario three

Your best friend has a new man who you're not that keen on

Friend: " He's gorgeous isn't he , I really think he might be the one , we're talking about going to Ibiza together in August"

Do you say :
A: " Are you serious , he's a total sleaze , the minute you get to Ibiza he will be off shagging anything he can, get rid babes."

Or B: " Aww that's nice Honey , take it easy though , you've only just met him "

If you answered A to these scenarios then I think you might have a death wish , you would end up with - 

1: A wife who refuses to go anywhere with you , is in floods of tears and thinks you are a total pig who is never ever getting near her in bed again

2: A child in tears who loses a bit of confidence and probably won't go on to achieve much in the way of sport ever again for fear of being humiliated.

3: No friends


So it IS a good thing to lie sometimes , or maybe we should just call it tact and knowing the difference between the two is the main point !! xxx

Am I a Muppet or a man ?

" I have a rubbish phone , it just about does Twitter , and that's fine.
 
Sometimes , darn it sucks.

A pic , a blog or that feeling you're not supporting a person , a petition, a good cause.

Is my lack of technology making me less of a human , am I becoming less ?

I like my silly phone , it has good people inside it. It only cost £12 , good deal , just hope I don't come across as not caring "


Anyone who knows the person who sent me this message would be in absolutely no doubt. He cares , he cares big time, in fact maybe sometimes he cares too much if that's possible.

But how can he show it without adequate access to the internet , should he spend money he hasn't got on a new phone , laptop or tablet , just so he can support those he cares about ?

In today's society it's all about an online presence . Every shop , tv advert or programme has a link to somewhere online so it is easy to see how people without this access can feel left out.

But I really don't feel that caring people should be made to feel less of a person , just because they can't re-tweet , read a blog or comment on something.

While technology is a good thing it can be negative as well and we must all be careful that it doesn't turn us into automated versions of ourselves 'favouriting' and 'liking' everything in sight , signing things we actually have no feelings for and going through the motions.

It is much better to think and care in the real world than pretend to care online xxx

 

 

 

For Parents

This blog post will be a bit more serious than some others, not my usual joking style but it is a post that I believe needs to be written and read.

As usual I will not name any names in respect of privacy but this situation is happening to too many people right up and down the country and something needs to be done.

We all know that marriages break up everyday for a million different reasons , sometimes there is blame and sometimes it's just life getting in the way . 2 adults make the decision to go their separate ways and try to get on with their lives. So far  ,so amicable , yes ?

Well no .It is not always just between 2 people , there are often children involved , young children who have no idea why Daddy isn't there to read a bedtime story or play horsey in the garden , older children , battling with their own teenage hormones , having to split their time between 2 homes , taking sides.

I have a good friend , his marriage broke down through no fault of his own and sadly ,but not unusually , his young Daughter stayed with her Mother.

Being a fair man and wanting the best for his Daughter he has no problem with paying to support her , although having 25% of his annual income and 25% of his disability tax credit means he has only £9500 a year to live on.In contrast his ex wife (the instigator of the separation) earns over £45k a year but still she has entitlement to child maintenance payments and would still do even if her income doubled overnight.

His main problem is connected to access.
For a long while his ex refused to let him see his Daughter , even though he has never done anything wrong , has never , ever been anything other than a loving Daddy , who before the marriage split was the major care giver in his little girls life , she was definately a Daddies girl.
 
The first step in gaining access is via mediation which my friend complied with but unfortunately his ex wife got agitated by this and refused to do more than one session.
So the next step was preparing a court application but before he could do this she decided that she would 'allow' access via the contact centre.

Again though this process is weighted in favour of the Mother (or resident parent) as the parent wanting access has to pay £53 per hour to the contact centre , which hardly seems fair in no fault cases. I can understand this if the Father has been aggressive or has to be supervised strictly with his children but in my friends case this is not so.

He is supposed to have access at the contact centre every 2 weeks and for a little while this was going well , he was reconnecting very well with his daughter who was enjoying having her Daddy back in her life.

But then his ex wife decided to make things a bit more difficult again . She claimed that it would not be at all possible for her to make the agreed contact meetings so he will not get to see his daughter for 6 weeks.
Okay if she has to work that is fair enough , but there are Grandparents who collect her from nursery and provide care to her but apparently are not capable of delivering her to a pre-arranged meeting with her Daddy.

Given that she is being seen to be complying over all with the arrangements there is nothing my friend can do to get help to see his daughter.This hardly seems fair , she is controlling the entire situation and the Father is left helpless.

One workable solution would be that in cases where access arrangements are not being met satisfactorily then support payments should be held until such time as they are.They could be held onto by the CSA in a fund and when it is proved that the 'Resident Parent' is fully compliant with the access ,  only then will full payment be made.

This will ensure that parents are not able to use their children as weapons against their former partners or they will lose out monetarily. The supporting parent would still be making the payments as usual , there is no question of that not happening.

If you have a moment please could you sign this petition to help Non resident parents to get to see their children whether they are Mothers or Fathers. Thankyou very much xxx

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/49800

The One About That Survey ........

I have been asked quite a bit "why are you doing a survey about porn?" and there really is a simple answer .
No I'm not entering the adult industry myself , no I'm not some kind of perv who wants to find out everyones porn secrets .

It is all in relation to an earlier blog post that I wrote 'Don't Judge A Book' where I said that I had formed an early opinion of a man who , as well as other things, works as a porn performer which turned out (for me) to be a wrong opinion.

I had a few responses to this blog , but what surprised me was the reaction from several men. The general feeling was that I should not be turning a porn actor into a 'hero figure', that the porn industry was morally wrong and degrading to women and that by writing in support of a porn performer I was somehow doing something wrong.

The reaction from women was somewhat different , call them shallow but 'lovely bum' was the most used phrase and not one had a problem with the post.

So obviously I had to find out if these responses were typical over a wider selection of people and so the survey was created.

I don't want this blog post to be a list of percentages and statistics but if I lapse into that you will shut me up won't you ?!

It is in no way scientific and I literally only had 50 responses but I was pleased that both genders and a wide range of ages took part.There were slightly more women than men respondents 27/23 and the largest age group taking part were the 35-44 year olds but 18 -24 year olds and 65-74 year olds all played their part too.

First of all when looking at results they seemed to confirm my initial thoughts that men were becoming more conservative with regards to porn , but as more people responded I found that this wasn't actually the case , it is still predominantly men watching porn.

The response from women who said they didn't watch was mainly that it did nothing for them , maybe as most porn is still marketed by men for men and probably will continue to be so. Nobody was opposed to it for religious reasons and neither was degradation of men a problem for anyone.

One one person , who was a man , was morally opposed to it and felt that it was degrading to women although one woman did feel it was degrading but reasoned that nobody is forcing the actors or actresses to do it although better regulations and health benefits would improve the image of the industry.

Practicalities came into play as well , with children in the house , the watching of porn is a bit more risky even if it had been watched before they came along.

Porn still seems to be a solitary hobby with the huge majority watching by themselves , only 4 people watched with their partner as foreplay to their sex lives and nobody watched with friends despite what American 'Frat' movies will have you believe.

Frequency differed as well with  only 3 people (all male , wide age range) watching daily , while the females mainly watched monthly , which may have something to do with their menstrual cycle, or when the mood took them which was the biggest response.

Most people started to watch porn from aged 18-24 although 3 people said it was earlier than this with one man , who works in an isolated male dominated environment, saying he watched from 15 as 'it has always just been a part of life'.

The internet is the main source of todays porn and unsurprisingly the majority of people access it totally for free.

Combining internet access with young viewing ages as well as free availability is a problem , and definitely , parents need to exercise caution with what their children are able to watch online, this is a problem that I can only see getting worse and it is a worry.

Porn was said by a few people to be 'unrealistic' , 'hilarious' and 'greasy' so maybe it is an idea for porn producers to make porn for young people that shows them what sex is really like.

If they are going to watch it anyway they might as well see that sex is not all perfect bodies , huge genitals , plastic breasts and multiple orgasms in hundreds of different positions. It can be awkward , messy and routine with people of all shapes and sizes doing it on a daily basis , although would this sell ? Who knows.

Overwhelmingly the general opinion was that people can choose to watch if they want to , they are not being forced to watch and it isn't doing any harm and most people had no real strong feelings about the industry as a whole.

So there we have it , while some men are opposed to certain aspects of porn , they are still the majority watchers and apart from the internet as the main source , things are pretty much the same as they have always been and probably will continue to be. xxx  

 

Mr Fluffykins

"Soft toys on the bed - You've pulled a sexy stud / he's heading home with a saucy seductress, you open the bedroom door and realise you'll be sharing a night of passion with a bunch of care bears. Let's face it, it's hard to perform when you've got an audience and you keep getting prodded by furry paws" 
Cosmopolitan , top 10 sex peeves

I read a tweet a few weeks ago which backed up this , apparently soft toys and books in the bedroom are total turn offs.

I can understand the soft toys a bit , I mean getting ready for passion with several pairs of fixed glassy eyes staring at you can't be a great thing. If you have to move Fluffy , Mr Bear , Bunnykins ,  Yogi , Dave and Bobo from the bed before you can actually get in then I think you might have a problem but then the same applies to cushions.

Personally I have 2 fluffy cows on the bed , but one of them belongs to my cat , actually wait a minute , that doesn't sound any better does it !!!

The books I really don't get , why should some books on a shelf be a problem and yes here I am totally guilty , although most of mine are hidden behind cupboard doors.

Surely books are a sign of intelligence not a turn off . Although maybe the subject matter is the real problem

If a man is confronted by a shelf full of '50 Shades' type books he might get a bit of performance anxiety, or Mills & Boon books may have him running for the hills faster than you can say 'Marry me and be mine forever'.But a selection of books by different authors on different subjects cannot be bad.

More of a turn off would be a 50 inch tv on the bedroom wall with the play station , still warm , only just switched off nearby or the remote control within reaching distance , just ready to resume watching 'Road Wars' or 'Dog The Bounty Hunter', the naked calendar on the wall by the bed , who wants to look at perfect specimens of humans while wobbly bits are wobbling ?

So if you are planning on a night of fun , have a quick look around your bedroom before and maybe hide the bear in the cupboard along with Mr Grey !! xxx

Cheeeeeese !!

A hobby of mine is photography. It is something that I wish I could do as a living , but as with writing a book , maybe one day , who knows.

I started out as most kids do 'having a go' with my parents camera , it had a lovely sound when you wound on the film and we still have that camera somewhere. I wonder if it would still work . 

Then for a Birthday I got my first camera of my very own. Seeing modern cameras makes me realise how complicated it actually was for a child to use. You had to slip the end of the film into a slot and line up the little holes at the edge until it sat flat. Then you wound the film on a little bit but not too much . I used to have to get a grown up to do it for me as it was way too fiddly for me.

I took the usual holiday snaps , pictures of our dogs and pictures of the inside of the lens cap when I forgot to remove it. And therein lies one of the problems. I took these photos but it wasn't until the film was developed that I knew if any of them were any good or in fact if any of them had come out at all.

You either had to put the film into a Truprint envelope and send it off or take it into the local chemist and if you got it round there before 11:30am it went off & was back the next day. Yes a whole day before you could see your images . And then they came back with a new free film and you started all over again.

Usually quite a few pictures were only fit to go in the bin , something you don't have today , but you did have proper printed out pictures to stick in an album not just images on a memory card.

I can't remember what my next camera was but it was still a film one , just slightly easier to use , but still no amazing images , just snaps.

My first digital camera was a few years back now. My Brother had got one & amazed us with the fact that you could see the picture the second after you had taken it so of course I wanted one too ! I got exactly the same model as he had because I've learnt to let him work out how to use something and then he can tell me .

I learnt how to do quite a bit with that camera , indulging my passion for black & white photography and also learning how to edit out bits that weren't right , reducing red eyes and cropping to make the image look as good as it could.

I love taking natural photos especially at weddings , the little bridesmaid sucking her thumb , the pageboy picking his nose , that look the Father of the bride gives just as he walks his Daughter down the aisle. I much prefer those type of pictures to the set up ,  formal groups and when I have been to friends or family weddings I make sure I get an alternative set of pictures to give to them after the day. Those moments captured in time forever.

Digital cameras got more sophisticated , more pixels , a better zoom and so it was time to upgrade. Yet again the same one as my Brother had got , a Canon , my make of choice now. This camera was way better than my first and I discovered another thing that I loved.

Macro photography , zooming in on little details like the stamens in a flower or a newly opening bud , getting as close as you can. Sometimes so that you don't know what the whole item is , the detail makes a pattern all of its own.I love taking pictures of my cats& dogs noses , those little freckles and whisker spots close up , paws and claws too.

While I was shooting away with this 'point & shoot' camera my Uncle had got himself the next big thing ,  a DLSR camera , the sort of thing you see the paparazzi using , huge zoom lenses and all . Capable of zooming right into something and giving a crisp colourful image . These were way out of my price range but a few years have passed now and as with most things prices have come down and finally after saving hard I brought mine last week.

The 200 page online manual reads like double Dutch to me but I have mastered the basics so far and got some images that I am quite pleased with , especially ones of my cats & dogs. And then it starts......

The camera came with a basic lens as part of the package , but you soon realise that this is not where the spending ends. Already I have brought another zoom lens which is totally amazing , giving me detail I never thought I could get and on my Amazon wishlist is a tripod and an infra red remote as well as a bag for carrying all this around with me.

But it is something I enjoy and there are far worse things I could be doing and spending my money on.

If you are at a loose end one day & want to see some of my pictures please feel free to have a look at flickr.com/photos/petleg9/  xxx