Unsocial media ?

 We’ve all seen it , the couple in the pub or restaurant , or maybe a family or friends out for a meal together , a lovely chance to catch up with each other , chat and spend time? 

But , how many times have you seen this but all people at the table have their noses in a mobile phone ? Scrolling , liking , swiping or whatever , avidly engrossed in the screen rather that who they are actually with in real life ? 

I was thinking about this and did a few polls on Twitter to find out more about people’s attitude to the friends or acquaintances that live in their phones.

I have known some of my Twitter followers for quite a few years now and know several things about them but when I actually thought “Do I know 20 things about them that aren’t just superficial things that anyone would know?” I realised that out of over 300 people I actually only know stuff about maybe 2 people , 3 at a push !!

 Only 27% of the people who responded to my poll think they know 20 facts about followers , it would be interesting if they actually wrote them down , I think they’d be surprised.

Despite communications with people regularly 21% of people said they wouldn’t keep in touch with anyone if Twitter didn’t exist and only 7% of people actually like all of their followers!

58% of people considered 5 people on the app to be real life friends and this is borne out by Twitter meet ups or romances but 8% said they were not real life friends at all.

I know that Twitter is invaluable as many people have health or mental health issues that makes meeting people in real life social situations difficult but if you do have friends in the real world but find yourself always on your phone when you meet up then maybe it’s time to go phone free when you’re with them !

 Chat to them , ask what they’ve been up to , listen to their problems …..you might find out that you enjoy talking to them !! 

“What do you mean it’s not coming home?”

 What do you mean it’s not coming home ? 

I was expecting it half an hour ago , how has it changed its mind?

What has changed since Wednesday evening , you were so sure it was coming home so what happened ? 

I made up the spare room and everything , I got your Dad to go to Home Bargains and pick up 2 new pillows , well we couldn’t use the old ones after what the cat did could we ! 

I put the good bedding on and everything , even moved the alarm clock radio in there and cleared a little bit of space in the wardrobe.

This isn’t on you know , what do you mean it’s decided to go to Spain instead ? How rude.

I thought your friend Gareth was bringing it ? I suppose that Harry fella caused a problem , that’s why it’s not coming home now , typical of him it is.

I’d better go and switch the oven off then , I had a nice shepherds pie ready for it , proper minced beef from the butchers on the high street and I’d got a nice tin of fruit salad to have with some evaporated milk too 

Suppose it will be eating all that tapas stuff , serve it right if it gets a belly ache I say.

Well maybe it will see fit to finally come home some day , it’s not like I’ve been waiting all these years is it , bloody football 

Fine ?

 “Hey Pet , how are you, whats happening in your world?”

“Hiya , yeah, I’m okay , fine , a bit tired but you know nothing much , anyway , how are you , how’s the dog , your gran , the hamster , next doors brothers budgie?” 

If you’ve had a conversation with me in the last 18 months I’m pretty sure you’ll recognise this , this is what I say , what I do , I’m fine , of course I’m fine , I’ve got to be fine , but guess what , I’m not fine , not at all , quite far from fine in fact and I’m going to be honest for a change ! 

The past 18 months , well they’ve been a bit of a shit show quite frankly and it’s finally caught up with me. 

Many of you will know that my Dad died in September 2022 after being poorly for a couple of months and yes I did grieve a bit , I’m not totally heartless but I was concentrating on being fine , trying to be strong , sorting paperwork , helping other people get through it all. 

There has been a lot of change in my  world since then , not just Dad related and losing a dear friend but other friend stuff , being there to support people through various things in their lives , don’t get me wrong I was more than happy to be that support and I’d do it again in a heartbeat  , it probably helped me brush my own feelings aside but I guess it all takes its toll.

But I don’t like change , people move on , circumstances change and solid foundations start to get cracks in them and whilst I’m happy for them if they are happy (I’m not a total bitch) , I do miss how things were and I’m not gonna pretend I don’t 

So yeah , I started feeling a bit less fine in December ,but  I was busy , I had lots to do , I could bury myself in crafting , the world can all be fixed with a bit of sticky tape can’t it and yeah another defence mechanism of mine , everything is fine if you make a joke about it , add a ‘lol’ or a laughing emoji , you can’t cry if you’re laughing can you 

But then Christmas gone , my sleep pattern in even more disarray than usual and when I did sleep I was having horrible dreams , so vivid and yeah just nasty , angry and aggressive. I didn’t really want to go to sleep to honest but I was so tired and I felt anxious when I was awake , that twisting feeling in the tummy that won’t go away 

And then as it happens all the little things that have been building up become huge , insurmountable things and I find myself sitting in the loft crying my eyes out because I couldn’t  find the bag to put the Christmas tree away in , Jesus I really am being honest aren’t I , I’ve been here before depression and anxiety have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and I thought I was used to it,

So anyway I  decided that I needed a bit of a break ,a bit of a recharge ,  mainly from social media so I told a couple of friends what was going on so they wouldn’t worry , even when I’m like this I’m worrying about other people worrying , and that was that I thought 

But then I decided to write this , I’m not gonna lie , it’s very scary for me to be so open and I have debated with myself if I’m being self indulgent sharing it or should I just keep quiet and get on with stuff but to be honest that hasn’t worked too well so far has it ,  so here it is and yes I’m sharing it on my Twitter but if you comment about it please don’t be nice to me because that will just make me cry and the bears are gonna get soggy with all these tears.

Don’t worry about me , please don’t , I’m eating and taking my medication , making sure the bears are okay and I am getting some fresh air everyday , I probably won’t be able to stay away from social media for long as some of you are actually quite nice 

Thanks for reading xxx