“What do you mean it’s not coming home?”

 What do you mean it’s not coming home ? 

I was expecting it half an hour ago , how has it changed its mind?

What has changed since Wednesday evening , you were so sure it was coming home so what happened ? 

I made up the spare room and everything , I got your Dad to go to Home Bargains and pick up 2 new pillows , well we couldn’t use the old ones after what the cat did could we ! 

I put the good bedding on and everything , even moved the alarm clock radio in there and cleared a little bit of space in the wardrobe.

This isn’t on you know , what do you mean it’s decided to go to Spain instead ? How rude.

I thought your friend Gareth was bringing it ? I suppose that Harry fella caused a problem , that’s why it’s not coming home now , typical of him it is.

I’d better go and switch the oven off then , I had a nice shepherds pie ready for it , proper minced beef from the butchers on the high street and I’d got a nice tin of fruit salad to have with some evaporated milk too 

Suppose it will be eating all that tapas stuff , serve it right if it gets a belly ache I say.

Well maybe it will see fit to finally come home some day , it’s not like I’ve been waiting all these years is it , bloody football