“Do you think it's possible for 2 people to have a general conversation about sex & technique without one trying it on with the other, or at least wanting to and/or wondering what they're like?”
This question was on my Twitter feed last night and it’s a question I have always found fascinating myself
For years films have had us believe that in every ‘platonic’ male and female friendship there is one that secretly fancies the other and they do usually end up falling for each other in the end
Even in ‘When Harry Met Sally’ the film that asked that very question ‘Can a man and a woman ever just be friends ?’ they made Billy Crystal fall for Meg Ryan in the end (don’t tell him about her various screen liaisons with Tom Hanks , it would break his heart)
Personally I’ve always got on better with men than women , I think it is because I was bought up with 2 older Brothers and was used to their friends being around all the time
I got very good at standing my ground and answering back to their teasing and banter and never wondered about them intimately at all , they were mates not lads !
I do have women friends obviously but I always feel I can’t open up quite as much with them as male friends , there seems an undercurrent of judgement from some of them and there is always the potential for bitchy comments ….you don’t get that with men !!
At school I was the girl that the lads came too when they were having problems with their girlfriends , totally friendzone stuff and I’ll admit I did fancy some of them , of course I did . I had some lads crying in my arms over a girl that had upset them , I got to see their vulnerable side which I don’t think many other girls do at that age , they only saw the macho ‘trying to impress’ side
Some girls and later women weren’t keen on their men having a female friend and didn’t quite get that I wasn’t a threat to their relationship at all , if anything I gave the lads a female perspective that might have helped !
So onto the present day and that question on Twitter , I replied that I do have those conversations with male friends and from my point of view it’s quite comfortable and I have no thoughts about seeing them naked at all and that’s the honest truth but also I said that that was only my side of it and I could not speak for my friends
Then this morning the subject came up with one of my male friends who had seen that tweet and he said he feels exactly the same , he loves the fact that he can speak openly and honestly about more or less anything in his life with me and he knows there will be no judgement, no awkwardness and no sexual tension . He confirmed to me that he has absolutely no desire in seeing my bits either and just doesn’t think of me in that way , in fact we agreed that it would feel a bit like incest , very yucky and wrong and our friendship is worth way more than anything else !!
So to confirm , men and women CAN be just friends, they can share their thoughts and feelings about intimate matters and still maintain the barriers of a platonic friendship
Yes there can be harmless joking and flirting but that’s it , absolutely nothing else xx
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