If Social Media really was social

 Imagine your favourite social media platform …..does it say more about you than you realise?

If social media were social situations:

Facebook: Your Aunties 60th Birthday , all the family there telling you how much you’ve grown , Uncles getting drunk and trying to dance to Gangnam Style and Nan falling asleep in the corner …..a random small boy skidding across the dance floor on his knees 

Instagram: A very important invite , the event of the year ,one to be seen at 

Except everyone has gone somewhere else , there’s only 11 of you there but if you get the angles right on the photo you can make it look like there’s hundreds of you .Nobody eats any food , it’s just to be photographed 

BlueSky: Nan has invited a few people round for tea at her house , you’re in the best room and she’s got the doily’s and matching tea set out , you’re all sitting there in your good clothes not really knowing what to talk about , it all feels a bit awkward 

Snapchat: school disco , you don’t know why you’re there , the ‘cool kids’ are showing off doing all their best dance moves , wearing their most fancy clothes , you just sit on the side with a pepsi and wish you were at home 

Twitter: House party with your mates , loads of alcohol , a  few bags of crisps then someone orders pizza . Most people congregate in the kitchen , a few are outside in the garden having a quick fumble and at least one couple are having a explosive row 

Towards the end of the night people start talking politics and sex and you just know a few people are gonna regret things in the morning 

Threads: Well lots of people responded to the text and said they were going but ……..where is everyone ? 

Mastodon: That pub that everyone went to when it opened and never went back to , just one old guy sitting there with his dog nursing a warm pint